In cases wherein a family court has issued a support order for an unmarried partner, they have found that one partner promised to support the other partner in return for being taken care of while they lived together. In all of reported cases so far, the support has been provided by a male companion to a female companion. The New Jersey courts have treated these family-like situations as if the parties had a contract, not like marriage, where the right to support is based upon a support contract between the partners.
Palimony is the term that is used to describe the support that an unmarried person may request from his or her partner when the relationship between them comes to an end. Since living together without legally marrying has become more common, there have been an increasing number of cases dealing with the subject of palimony filed in the New Jersey courts.
3. What I am required to prove to obtain support from my former companion?
Because there are no written laws on the subject, the decisions made by the courts provide the only guidance as to how and when an unmarried person may be successful in getting support from his or her partner. The cases decided and reported so far makes it clear that:
- To get support as an unmarried partner, you cannot base your request on a claim that your partner has a duty to support you.
- You cannot get support money because your partner promised to marry you and then did not marry you. (This type of claim was outlawed many years ago in New Jersey.)
- You cannot recover money from your partner if your relationship with your partner was based solely on an agreement to perform sexual services in return for money (because this type of agreement is like prostitution, which is illegal).
- Most often, one of the cohabiting unmarried partners promises or agrees to support the other partner for life.
- Usually one partner (generally, the male) invites the other partner (generally, the female) to perform a variety of “services†including homemaking, meal preparation, providing care when he is sick, and acting in the role of social assistant/partner for him. In return, he promises to support her for life.
- Often, the plaintiff (the person asking for support) and defendant (his or her partner) lived together for a long time (usually between 15 and 20 years).
- Usually, a condition of getting support for life is that the female partner must live with the male partner in a marriage-like relationship.
- Usually, the plaintiff’s primary goal in living with the unmarried partner is the promise of financial support for life.
Some of the plaintiffs seeking support in these cases continued to work after beginning to live with their partners. However, none of them made enough money to support themselves without the help of the other partner’s income. The courts make it clear that the important consideration in palimony cases is not whether or not the financially dependent partner has a job, but rather whether or not that partner can support herself on her own. Not surprisingly, in all of the major cases where the courts ordered palimony, the financially dependent partner was suing a partner who had substantial wealth and income.
4. What are the rights of an unmarried person in a long-term relationship?
Unmarried persons are free to cohabit and engage in long-term relationships similar to married people. However, the rights of unmarried cohabitants differ significantly upon the termination of the relationship from those afforded to married people. New Jersey law does not protect the rights of unmarried cohabitants to the same level as it does married persons.
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